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“Here, honey. Take a look through this book and circle all the things you think would be really fun to play with.” I handed Avery a pen and The Great Big Toys-R-Us Book – a book crafted by marketers and intended to influence glutenous holiday shopping.

In our family we give one gift per child from Santa {plus the stockings}. The best Santa gifts are ones that are large in size so they make quite the impact on Christmas morning. After that, all the gifts are from us – but I try to strike a quantity and value balance between both children. I’ve got most of the shopping already done – I’m just looking for ONE more thing that would balance out the amount of presents under the tree.

So Avery hands me back the book. Here’s a glimpse into what she thought would be fun.

{She’s 4 YEARS old. Not 4 MONTHS old.}

{If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time or happen to know my daughter personally, this is mind-blowing. And the kicker is that this was not the only black pirate ship she circled.}

{She would have nightmares if this was in her room.}

And then she picked this:

Crap. Looks fun right? So fun that we bought this for NOLAN. I have to talk her out of wanting this table so she doesn’t come downstairs on Christmas morning, see a train table and then learn it’s for her 2-year-old brother even though she specifically requested it.

Seeing as she circled NONE of the items we actually bought for her and managed to circle the big Santa gift intended for Nolan, I had some work to do. You see, this is what she is getting from Santa:

I had to sell the crap out of this thing. Lucky for us, I work in advertising.

Me: Wow! These all look like such fun toys! Good choices!

Avery beams at me. I’m still leafing through the book and land squarely on page 27.

Me: Oh, wow. Did you see this page? It’s where all the painting and coloring stuff is.

She leans in. This is what we in the industry call “engaged” and “in the consideration set.”

Me: {Landing my finger on the picture of the easel that’s in the trunk of my car at this very moment} Oh, this is cool. Did you see this? It’s a thing that lets you paint and color and play school while you stand up so you don’t have to do it at the counter. {Totally grasping at product benefits} And you know what? Nolan can’t reach it. {I NAILED it with this one. Even though it’s totally a lie.}

Avery: {Literally JUMPING up and down – I’m very talented} I want that! I want that!

Done and done.

{Avery holding the picture of the toy she MUST get this Christmas.}

But I don’t know why I bother. Here is a picture of our kids playing with their favorite toy in the world.

{Decorative rocks in a glass bowl. I’m not kidding.}

I made that cape and crown for Avery using unused fabric from the tulle curtains we got from IKEA. This explosion of pink wants a black pirate ship for Christmas? I think not.

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